I Wasn't Made For It!!! / По-другому Не Живу!!!

More Than Just Riding

Anyone who knows me knows one thing - I love mountain biking.

Not just casually riding trails somewhere in the forest. I truly love downhill riding. Speed. Descents. That feeling when everything around you starts moving faster, and your mind suddenly becomes quieter.

Ironically, my story with speed started badly almost immediately.

One crash led to an injury. A year later, it became even worse after another accident - again because of speed.

But none of it killed my desire to ride fast.

People sometimes ask me why I do this. Why downhill? Why speed? Why push harder?

The truth is - I’ve spent my whole life in sports, and I’ve never believed in doing things halfway.

I don’t enjoy simply “going for a ride.” For me, it’s not really about adrenaline either. What matters to me is the feeling of speed itself. The connection between vision, reaction, instinct, and trust in yourself.

How well do I see the trail?

How much can I let go mentally?

How far can I push myself?

If I know I can ride faster, I will ride faster. If I feel like I still have more speed left inside me, I will keep pushing.

I don’t know how to do it differently. And honestly - I don’t want to.

Creating “I Wasn't Made For It!!!”

For a long time, I felt that this needed some kind of form.

Some kind of expression.

And somehow, life eventually gave me a chance to turn it into music.

There are not many songs in the world dedicated to mountain biking, especially downhill riding. And creating something like this turned out to be much harder than I expected.

The process started with simple thoughts and fragments of ideas. At first, I honestly didn’t even understand what this would become.

I knew what I wanted to express emotionally, but I didn’t fully understand how to build it musically.

Eventually, I decided not to describe downhill riding from the outside, but to tell the story from inside the rider’s mind.

What happens before the drop?

What happens during the descent?

And what remains after everything is over?

I can’t speak for everyone.

I can only speak for myself.

Sound, Emotion, and Movement

I knew this could never become a calm composition.

I wanted tension. Motion. Release.

Something cinematic and emotional rather than just “heavy.”

That’s why I started experimenting with instruments that normally wouldn’t be expected in this kind of music.

I added a violin.

I added a grand piano.

And honestly, the final result exceeded my expectations.

The violin added emotion and instability.

The grand piano added atmosphere and reflection.

Together with the guitars and drums, it started feeling less like a song and more like an experience.

The entire process was difficult, emotional, exhausting at times - but also incredibly interesting.

And maybe that’s exactly why this project became so personal to me.

Coming in June

The English version of the song "I Wasn't Made For It!!!" will be released in early June.

The Russian version "По-другому Не Живу!!!" will follow later in June.

I don’t want to spoil too much before release.

More than anything, I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts, reactions, and feelings after listening to it.

Because for anyone who creates something honestly - whether it’s music, film, photography, or art - feedback matters.

And this project came from something very real inside me.

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Alexei Bautin

Visual storyteller working across photography, film, and now music.

Exploring resilience through landscape, motion, and sound. Different mediums - one intention: honest storytelling.